


If Fortune Torments Me, Hope Contents Me

by Courtney621



Category: AUSTEN Jane - Works, Persuasion - Jane Austen
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:14:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28769904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Courtney621/pseuds/Courtney621
Summary: How does one begin to reverse over eight years of disappointment and misery?
Relationships: Anne Elliot/Frederick Wentworth
Comments: 8
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Frederick Wentworth starts a letter, never finished, to Anne Elliot.

How did one even begin, when attempting to reverse over eight years of disappointment and misery?

_Dear Miss Elliot,_

_I hope this letter finds you and your family well, and that you are comfortably settled in Bath. I write to you today--_

He snorted in disgust and crumpled his paper up, prompting a glance from his brother, who was reading nearby. 

"Is something the matter, Frederick?" Edward asked.

"No, not at all," he answered absently, taking up another sheet. 

How cold and formal a way to ask for her hand once more. _Comfortably settled in Bath_ , indeed. Anne hated Bath, and she would know perfectly well that he did not care how Sir Walter and Elizabeth Elliot were doing. What had he been thinking?

_Dear Miss Elliot,_

_I trust, by now, that you have heard the news of the engagement between Captain Benwick and Miss Louisa Musgrove, and that we are united in wishing them joy. I must take the liberty of writing to you--_

He threw his pen down and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. Why even mention Benwick and Louisa at all? This was a more difficult task than he imagined it would be.

What was more, his struggle was not going unnoticed. His brother was watching, in a manner which he probably thought was most surreptitious, but there was not a soul in the world less capable of subterfuge than Edward.

Frederick decided to ignore him. He grabbed another sheet of paper and tried again, his brother wincing visibly at the waste.

_My dearest Anne,_

_I take up my pen today to ask the same question I came to you with eight years and a half ago. It is a letter that should have been written long before now, and I beg your forgiveness for the foolishness that led to my waiting this long--_

He huffed loudly as he flung aside this attempt too, and, looking up, caught his brother spying. Edward disappeared quickly behind his book and pretended to read once more, though Frederick had not heard a page turn in some time.

He stood abruptly and muttered something vague about going to bed, and Edward let him pass without inquiry. Frederick was grateful to be staying with the only one of his siblings who would not demand an explanation for his ill humor.

He escaped to the privacy of his room and glared at his own reflection in the looking-glass. He was not doing the thing properly. He could not propose to Anne like this, without seeing her again, and hearing her voice, and observing her expression. She may not welcome a renewal of his attentions, after all. He had certainly behaved badly towards her at Uppercross. He may have already ruined his chances.

And yet, despite his efforts to manage his expectations, he could not stop the hope from billowing up within him.

He must see her.

He decided on a new plan. He would go to her. He would make the journey to Bath in the morning.

He refused to believe it was too late.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Frederick arrives in Bath and hears fresh news of Anne.

Frederick spent his first evening in Bath dining with his sister and the Admiral.

“You left Edward quite suddenly,” Sophy said. 

Perhaps it was his imagination, but he thought his sister had been examining him rather more closely than usual since his arrival.

“Oh, well, as to that,” he said, trying to sound hearty, “I thought I was beginning to overstay my welcome.”

“Edward did not say so, surely?”

“No, of course not. But _the newly married_ , you know. I thought I might be in their way.”

“Not so _very_ newly married now,” Sophy said. “And I am not sure how knowledgeable you are on the subject at any rate. How many such couples do you come across?”

“I know how sickening we all found you and the Admiral,” he said with a sly grin, dodging her as she swatted at him. “And Margaret and Sam were at least as bad.”

“Poor, dear Meg,” sighed Sophy. “Let us hope that Edward has better luck.”

Their younger sister had lost her husband before she had reached her second wedding anniversary; Sam had never even met their son.

Sophy stared into the candlelight for a moment, then seemed to shake herself out of these pensive thoughts.

“And so you thought you would leave while they still found your presence charming,” she said. “That is rather more wisdom than you usually display.”

He swatted at _her_ now. “Ah, you have found me out. I just missed _your_ company and had to come and join you.”

“It is unbecoming to be so satirical, Frederick, but we are happy to see you anyway.”

She took his hand and squeezed it fondly.

Frederick wondered, not for the first time, how differently things would have gone eight years and a half ago had it been Sophy with him rather than Edward. He loved his brother - loved all of his siblings - but he and Sophy had always had a special bond. She understood him best; she had the same sort of spirit that he had. Edward was all that was good, and supportive, and comforting, but he was a firm believer in being resigned to one’s circumstances and trusting in the will of God.

Frederick and Sophy fought a little harder. 

Had it been Sophy with him, perhaps she would have urged him to struggle more diligently against the wishes of the Elliots and Lady Russell, to keep a tighter hold on Anne’s hand and not let it go.

Perhaps his life would have gone in an entirely different direction.

Well, it was useless to think about it now.

“I was just talking about you with Miss Anne Elliot, Frederick,” said the Admiral. “We were saying that we must get you to Bath, and now here you are.”

Frederick’s stomach had jumped at the sound of her name.

“Oh?” he managed to say. He wished Sophy would quit looking at him.

“Yes,” said the Admiral. “We had just discussed that strange business between Benwick and Miss Musgrove, and I said that you would find any number of pretty girls to pick from here. Bath is just the place to secure a wife.”

“My dear,” Sophy admonished lightly.

“Oh, Frederick knows that we all wish to see him married,” said the Admiral with a wave of his hand, “and Miss Anne quite agreed.”

Another jump of the stomach, hope mixed with perturbation.

“I doubt very much whether she did anything other than listen as you talked, my dear,” said Sophy, rolling her eyes good-naturedly at Frederick.

“You are probably right,” the Admiral chuckled, “but she did not _disagree_ , at least.”

Frederick wanted to hear more of Anne - how she looked, the turn of her countenance when the Admiral had spoken of his coming to Bath, how interested she really was in the thought of his finding a wife. 

But the conversation had moved to other matters and he could not think of any way to bring her up again that would not immediately raise his sister’s suspicions.


End file.
